Halloween 2020 from your bizarre neighbors next door

Childless Yuppie Scum: AKA Your Neighbors

2020 is scary enough so we wanted to lighten the Halloween holiday mood by digging deep into our obscure 80s movie favorites: The Childless Yuppie Scum that live next-door to the Griswold’s in Christmas Vacation!

These silver sauna jumpsuits were the #1 thing that pulled this costume off. I found them by searching Amazon and there were many options, just put in “Todd and Margo” and “silver jumpsuit” and you’ll see a variety. It was also chill to sit around in these badboys and be “dressed up” without actually doing anything major.

The biggest time constraint was fixing my hair! I curled it with a tiny rod and teased it out big and put up to mock Julia Louis-Dreyfus. (Sidenote I just love JLD. Elaine will always be one of my top favorite characters of all time).

Why is the carpet wet, Todd?!
I don’t KNOW, Margo!

Because of Covid we hung back at our good pals place to watch movies and order pizza. It was a very mellow and safe Halloween.

Hope you all had as much fun as you possibly could have during a pandemic on the weekend before a major election!

love, your childless yuppie scum neighbors

Hallow-Qween Costumes

If you know anything about me, you know how much I LOVE Halloween and how much I enjoy unique costumes. Some years I have much more time on my hands and can sew up an elaborate eccentric costume that wows people, other years even my “lazy costumes” I try to make as original as I can. The point is, I love Halloween and even with minimal effort you can have a BALL of a time! It’s been a few years since I recapped our Hallow-Queen efforts, so let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?

Paint me like one of your French girls… [Titanic, anyone?]

I’ve posted about our previous costumes on my Ghosts of Halloweens past write-up, chock full of ridiculous concepts like the Double Rainbow (hey it was 2010) or our Best Little Whorehouse in Texas couple costume (this was John’s intro to my ridiculous costume ambitions and our first together). And here is our 2016 couple costume of Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, one of my personal favorites because we went to a dance party on a boat and I walked around yelling things all night long like “I was a big fat SLUT?” and “ANDREW!” (if you love the original Overboard as much as me then this makes sense. And no, I will NOT watch the remake).

In 2017, John and I decided to be Janet Snakehole and Burt Macklin from Parks and Rec because we were lazy and just finished watching all of the seasons together. Though I will admit it’s not my most original costume – it was a lot of fun quipping off random one liners from the show to strangers in bars who got it.

2018 felt like a big ambitious year for us. We went as the fish/lady couple from The Shape of Water and turned many heads. We were even featured on the Fox Searchlight Instagram and Facebook channels! It all happened as a joke one drunken night, where John suggested it would be funny because it won the Oscar that year for best movie, and who in their right mind would do it? I then made it a reality by finding this insanely funny and ridiculous mask based off the character, found a teal onesie that he agreed to wear, and then crafted fish fins and FISH ABS out of felt that I later bedazzled. It was amazing. I just wore a plain red dress from the movie poster and also did a costume change into her denim/green apron getup so I didn’t make much sense without my fishman <3.

2019 also was a bomb dot com costume because we love John Malkovich SO MUCH we decided to go as Being John Malkovich. John was Craig (John Cusack’s character) and I was Lotte (Cameron Diaz) with my comforting chimpanzee Elijah. This one was so fun because I ordered a wig and ratted out the hair with a super tiny curling wand and brushed it out to try to make it look more like her frizzy hair. I think we did good with what we had!

This one was so much fun! We just loved making print outs of John Malkovich’s face for those sticks. What a hoot and show stopper at the party. John even made his own version of the marionette doll and we filmed “Craig’s Dance of Dispair” – L.M.A.O.

Halloween 2020 is now upon us. A weird year and not as festive as years past. We definitely have a chill costume planned, but it’s a great reference for those of you who love 80’s comedies. Check back in and see what we do, follow me on IG @djemils.

Have a safe, fun, and Happy Hallo-Qween!

Hallowkeen + Other Fall Updates

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My oh my don’t I love a good Halloween and fall season! I guess they don’t call me the Queen of Halloween with my peers for nothing…

This year John and I decided to be Burt Macklin and Janet Snakehole, the fun alter egos of Andy and April on Parks & Rec. It’s a pretty easy costume that takes minimal effort but is still unique, cute, and comfortable (and if I do say so myself, being comfortable is alllll the rage as you age 😉  ). I admit that it’s more fulfilling for me to put in hard work on a costume for many weeks (like the Bjork swan dress I made a few years ago) rather than opting for something simple and easy, but it’s impossible to have energy like that year in and year out. Only Heidi Klum can wear the TRUE Hallowkween crown

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This cute vintage veil pillbox hat was only $20 on Amazon! Now I have something to wear to the weddings of my mere frenemies for the future to come!

Even Beatrix dressed up! This year she opted for Meowry Catoinette and meowed all night “let them eat cake!” just like you would expect.

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Look at that beauty! ❤

Fall is also my favorite time for weddings. Fall foliage makes for great scenery and a fun impromptu photo shoot. Just check us out at John’s step-brother’s recent fall wedding down in Soledad…

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How sweet is this crushed blue velvet bell sleeve dress? I bought it from Elsie’s closet last year. It’s an original Red Velvet original creation by way of A Beautiful Mess (RIP Red Velvet).

John is becoming quite the Instagram boyfriend if I don’t say so myself. He only learns from the best I guess!

While we only have a little bit of fall time left before winter “officially” comes, let’s remember to enjoy these beautiful moments before they slip away and I have fall fomo for another 9 months…

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Corny for Halloween

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Halloween is my favorite time of year. Yes I know how basic that sounds and how boring that probably makes me seem. But I’ve been riding the #cornyforhalloween train ever since I can remember, long before Starbucks became a huge nationwide chain and brought pumpkin spice lattes into pop culture.

I blame it on the fact that my primary childhood memories were from when we lived in Ohio. Between the ages of 7-11 I grew up in a small town called Enon (or None spelled backwards 😉 ) and it felt very much like Stranger Things. There were actually four seasons, as kids we rode our bikes everywhere, I knew everyone in my elementary school, the town had forests on all sides, and there was a large cornfield behind our neighborhood. Even our house was built in the 70’s and had retro decor vibes. But my favorite thing about living there was the fall. The leaves changed and we experienced beautiful foliage, our neighborhood had THEE BEST seasonal decorations, trick or treating felt like a flashback in time, and on top of all of that, Enon hosted their annual Apple-Butter Festival and I always dressed up. You could churn your own butter and also tour the historic old pioneer homes. I mean, a history nerd living in a historic small town with a big deal (but small time) fall festival with costumes?! AHHHhhh! My inner theatre geek loved every minute of it. THAT is when I know my love for fall and Halloween fully blossomed.

IMG_7587.jpgAren’t I cute? Here I am snuggling my cat Cotton after a long day of churning butter at the good ole’ apple butter festival! <cry laughing> (god I’m such a nerd)

This year, I decided to REALLY do it up in terms of Halloween celebrations. I’ve lived in the Bay for 10 years and surprisingly had never been to the Half Moon Bay Pumpkin festival. It is the biggest thing that Half Moon Bay does all year round, pumpkin farmers from all up and down the West Coast submit their largest gourds for the chance to win the largest pumpkin award. And on top of that, there are HUNDREDS upon hundreds of art booths, food vendors, pumpkin EVERYTHING (from smoothies to pie to pumpkin chili and pumpkin mac and cheese), music and alcohol. John and I LOVED every second of it! It was worth the longer than normal drive due to high traffic for the isolated event.

22448596_10110552425541500_7178073160364207156_nJust look at those carvings!

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If you live close to the Bay and love the fall as much as I do, you MUST attend the pumpkin festival next year. I can’t believe that it’s taken me so long to head there myself!

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Moving on, last Friday night we grabbed some close friends and went to the Mayhem Mansion in beautiful Pac Heights neighborhood, before checking out the new Bladerunner (OMG ahhh so much so say there but not for this post)! Mayhem Mansion is the Halloween event thrown at the historic Haas-Lilienthal house, the city’s only intact Queen-Anne Victorian home that operates as a museum. I wasn’t sure what to expect other than some cute Victorian-Halloween decorated rooms, and boy were we pleasantly surprised! I don’t want to give too much away, but there are some pretty legit actors and we were pretty spooked/startled.

IMG_7498Our friend we met in the SPOOKeasy bar, under Mayhem Mansion.

Halloween season isn’t complete until you carve a pumpkin. I mean, even if I’m the busiest person in the world and I decide to do my version of a lazy costume, I will ALWAYS have time to carve pumpkins and roast the seeds. I just can’t live in a world where this doesn’t happen. I will be 100 years old designing my pumpkin in my head, and telling my caretaker orders for how I want it to look (MUAHAHAHA).

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We have a lot more Halloween things coming this weekend, but for now, I’m just gonna keep enjoying what precious seasonal moments that I have left. I LOVE HALLOWEEN AND I AM NOT ASHAMED! Stay tuned for more Halloween updates and costume reveals (and view previous costumes here).

xo

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San Francisco Holiday Traditions

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It’s the holidays, a time for participating in traditions both new and old alike. One of my favorite annual events is the Golden Girls Christmas drag special at the Victoria theatre! Remember when I mentioned that I djed at Daytime Realness along with Heklina?? WELL she’s AMAZING in Golden Girls as Dorothy! (And so is everyone else TBH). What a better way to kick off the holidays than to gather your friends, have a few drinks, wear a festive top, and enjoy a show chock full of innuendos?! The laughs are infectious!

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Sergio and I have gone every year for the past 4 years with our own various SPECIAL GUEST STARS 🙂 And to commemorate our experience, we always take a picture with the cast along with our crew for the evening. OUTTA MY WAY – WE ARE MAKING MEMORIES PEOPLE!!! #blessed.

IMG_3687.jpgThis was our first show in December 2013.

img_6840December 2014.

IMG_0701.jpgDecember 2015.

IMG_8225.JPGDecember 2016.

As you can see Sergio and Heklina are always in the bottom left while I stand in the back next to Blanche (Matthew Martin) cause Blanche is ONE SASSY LADY who obvi has the best wardrobe. DUH! If you are in San Francisco,  DON’T MISS THIS GEM OF A SHOW!

What are some of your holiday traditions?

escape from san francisco, halloween 2k16

This Halloween I fulfilled my dream of being the incredible Joanna Stayton, played by Goldie Hawn, from Overboard! I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH Y’ALL and have been thinking about doing this costume for YEARS #overboardforever. What’s great is that John loves Kurt Russell (as do I, hello HOTTIE ALERT!) and decided to be Snake Plissken from Escape from New York. We thought that it would be more recognizable for him to wear an eyepatch and go for Snake’s look because if we weren’t standing next to each other while he was Dean Proffitt, he would just be wearing plaid and would look similar to his everyday self (I guess he could have worn overalls and carried a tool box but truth be told, John doesn’t love Overboard the way that I do (HOW DARE HE) and he wanted to be Snake. COMPROMISE people! That’s what love is all about ❤ )

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Don’t we look GOOD?!

The point is, we both were characters we loved while representing a real life powerhouse in the love department. Kurt and Goldie are hands down my favorite celebrity couple and a great inspiration for relationships everywhere!

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We ended up going on the Sunset Sound System boat party to celebrate Halloween (on top of another house party the night before). The Sunset Crew are a great group of local underground house + techno DJs that have been throwing the best parties (that happen to fall on Sundays) for over 20 years in the Bay Area. The boat parties are a ton of fun, are usually 3 floors, and feature edgy DJs from Berlin to NYC and all over the world (talk about LEGIT). This year I was STOKED to hear Prosumer. AND since I was on a boat, all night I got to say things like:

  • THE ENTIRE CIVILIZED WORLD KNOWS THAT ALL CLOSETS ARE MADE OF CEDAR!
  • Andrew, are you gonna bring me my lemon or do I have to squeeze it from my hat?
  • Caviar should be round, and hard, and of adequate size, and should burst in your mouth at *precisely* the right moment.
  • I was a SHORT…FAT…SLUT!

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I made the jacket from a white satin robe, shoulder pads, gold rope, gold tassel ribbon, and sequins.

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All in all it was a pretty successful Halloween weekend. People loved our costumes, we hungout with our fun friends, listened to great tunes, and got to ride a huge boat around the Bay!

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Just for fun, I’ll leave you with one of my favorite clips. Hope you all had a Happy Halloween! Now I have to start brainstorming what I want to be next year…

 

Ghosts of Halloweens past

For #throwbackthursday I want to take a trip down memory lane and revisit the costumes of Halloweens past. I have always been a fan of creating quirky costumes because I like to be unique and hate anything that comes out of a bag. HELLO PEOPLE I am not a carbon copy #basicbetch over here! I don’t enjoy slutty costumes either, unless it’s ironic – like a neighbor having a slutty costume party and people come as ridiculous slutty things like a slutty hotdog or a slutty microwave (I mean who DOESN’T find micro-WAVES sexy?!). The best one I’ve ever seen was a couples costume of Benjamin Franklin and his slutty kite…HAHA. Moving along, here are some of my favorite costumes from previous years. Maybe it can help spur last minute creativity if you don’t know what to be?

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The MEME. Everybody remembers the DOUBLE RAINBOW! How could we forget thee? I painted glitter tears on my face and made a headband with a thought bubble that read What does it mean? In case you are one of the few that doesn’t remember, you should refresh your memory because it was one of the biggest memes of 2010. Memes are great because they are topical, so most people get ’em.

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Group Concept. This was when we did a crazy cat lady and her cats. My friend Sara and I SEWED THESE CATSUITS ourselves and I remember feeling SO accomplished! It is also versatile and worked well as a unicorn, below, that I switched up a few years later when I djed at Go Bang! for Halloween.

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MAKEUP Only. Pop art make-up, anyone? This is a good one to do when you feel lazy but love Halloween parties and don’t want to dress up in the same costume several days in a row. Like when Halloween is on a Monday (as it is this year) and you know of parties Fri-Mon. (Hey, I’m a social butterfly, OKAY?!) #halloweenparties4life

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Quirky Couples Costumes. My favorite couples costume ever was when John and I did Burt and Dolly from Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. This was a true GEM of a costume and I’m so proud of how it turned out. John and I had only been dating for 6 months and when I asked him to be Burt Reynolds from the movie and he jumped on the opportunity. We quickly realized that we BOTH grew up watching the movie so it holds a special place in our heart. It was then I knew he would be the perfect mate to dress up alongside me for all sorts of costume situations…

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And for fun, here is a throwback of John and I as a fembot and a shark with a friggin’ lazer beam attached to his head, per the BEST TRILOGY OF ALL TIME, Austin Powers! (Yes Austin Powers is really my favorite trilogy of all time. No, this is not a sponsored post from Austin Powers. No one has paid me to say this. My love for Austin Powers is REAL people. So real, that when my sister Bryana got married, she booked an Austin Power’s impersonator to DJ. #austinpowersforever). Also this costume was from Bay to Breakers and NOT Halloween, but you get the gist.

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ICONIC. Last year I FINALLY sewed the Bjork swan dress of my dreams! I won the costume contest and the hearts of all Bjork dorks out there. I wanted to do this costume for years and was so happy that it came together how it did. It’s an iconic look and will keep well for future use.

I can’t wait to show you what I’ve whipped up for this year! Stay tuned…

Big Pimpkin’ @ Da pumpkin patch

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Anyone order a disco-ball pumpkin?

Did I mention how much I absolutely love Halloween?! It’s seriously my favorite day of the year. Why can’t costumes be accepted more on a regular basis? Like, hey I want to be a mermaid today (or Ronald McDonald Trump), and it’s all good cause no one would care. Well that’s why I love living in SF because there’s ALWAYS a reason to sport a costume. But Halloween IS around the corner, so this past weekend was spent with friends doing what BASIC people love to do best in October: watch Hocus Pocus, drink RIDICULOUS scary-themed red wine, and carve pumpkins. I got to do it twice! And I’m not ashamed… #basichalloween

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Lunatic Red, Once Upon a Vine (Big Bad Red), and Besieged.

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In years past I have always carved some sort of cat in my pumpkin. The most elaborate pumpkin I’ve ever carved was a profile of a unicorn WITHOUT a pattern. That was intense you guys. This year I opted for the disco ball pumpkin because #whynot and I’ve never seen one before. ALSO we bought a crazy battery operated pumpkin carving POWER SAW because ain’t nobody got time to carve pumpkins anymore folks!

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“I can haz pizza and pumpkins and Hocus Pocus?!” – Jasper the tuxedo cat

I know that I am in my 30s and still thoroughly enjoy Halloween activities, and I will continue to do so until I’m much more of an old lady. One day I will travel to the biggest pumpkin patch I’ve ever seen and do a full on costume photo shoot, that I will indeed turn into a calendar and can sell. Until then, I’m gonna keep doing me and continue to be the biggest Halloween + costume nerd that I know.

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